El Grande Gringo

so i stepped outside for a moment it took some effort getting here something within was not responding all pointed somewhere else. back. and then it hit me i was laying down on the

so i can die easy, my hands resting on my chest and all that and all the pretty dresses gathered around me looking down on me finally, their little triumph over my life still. their slim shadows

search lights over the sky looking into my one good eye forgetting shape and sound focusing on vision ultimate hit ultimate state alone hidden behind protective covers enveloping moments in

broken momentum. pause: look back. re.live the past and breathe-in scent of fog, forgive and acknowledge defeat. hang around the gutter and listen to running water, drains and sewer

the devil is sad behind his mask of laughter he looks to you from behind bills bent in the middle like the ocean of fear that foregoes a catastrophe; i once did know that earth has limits and now

monumental mockery \'the wolf stands alone\' what a cruel joke you laugh like nothing was ever wrong the bearer of loneliness walks surrounded by lights and night the passers-by look upon his

dancing kangaroos wooden tables on rotten cigarette buds i think i ought to empty my stomach content i’d rather bury the prancing squirrels in little coffins of led to let all the

green glass on drunken tables shattering in countless voices all so shallow, all so sullen; i thought this nightmare would end or reveal the monstrous shape lying beyond what they can touch or

001 this is the empty car park calling please hold. press to come back to see where you are. no matter how many mistakes we\'ll always credit you. this time you have nothing to fear. the

to consume the void around you. to be afraid constantly. to be with tears in you eyes constantly. for all the beauty, all the meanings, all the truths... lost... lost in this place undefined. i take

yeah, break away. stop enjoying it and just laugh. it\'s morning, all the rest can wait, everything else has to begin. i start writing here. how is your life today? are you still managing that

and when the music stops i’ll know the final hour would have ended. silence is but a continuation of the same, in another form. i do not know, what it has become and, maybe, i do not care to

pause. stop. playback, is this it? am i really there? or am i somewhere inbetween again?

this time it’s raining never seen such a deluge only the bones make noises maybe i should begin to feel sick. yeah, there’s nothing worth keeping taking everything when motionless birds lie

Tomorrow I’m gonna wake in the vomit of never-was. The lying walls will no longer be. So free beneath the churches spray-painted by disgust. Another brick fallen from the wall, even if the

the cars run in silence, along the streets we come so violent, all torrents, spitting out the garbage we were fed with. voices sing in my head, and i don\'t wanna hear, nothing left but dead

I. Prologue I keep laughing; once again on the roof of the mushroom where unbearable heat withers all colour. The cemetery snow lies unwalked upon, all though many ghosts have yet to

there are fewer and fewer words. to describe. to tell you the state of my perdition; i awake in my dream. you are outside looking for me. you look at me with eyes blind. you call for me,

i will attempt suicide, i will drink the hate and then spit it out in your face. i will land near your mind and then blow it up! stop this! nothing will make me scream more than your

Part one: salvation. Enchanted in shadow I spill my grief over an unsuspecting world. My dreams are dark and filled with pain; I see no relief, no hope, only violence inflicted upon terrified

I got lost on endless steps. when porno stars love each other and tiffany-express served lust, no other measure of a sphere; everything comes together. just right, for the old spinster’s

As Fall runs her stained veil to the both ends of melancholy’s infinite, you walk through the trees dying and grass burning silent, invisible to another and almost without motion, with your

i wish i was blank, empty, no telephone wire, no electric bills, no picnic in the weekend, a cigarette in the dark, lit, smoke like poison running through my body, thoughts rushing like

sometimes i\'d rather let everything pass right by like an endless flux of seemless white and non-colour emerging from marble dreams and escaping in flight ascending to a star and somehow