Thoughts XXIV

I… did not want to wake up last Saturday morning in order to dream as much as possible. I relaxed my wings for about ~thinking~ 15 hours. Can you imagine that? And the surroundings kept pushing me to see the reality I refused so badly. It is said that dreams give you a somewhat inner strength to fulfil them. Yes, that’s true. But ( there is always a but), at this point in my life I’m speechless to whatever my imaginings arise in my mind. Still can’t feel a thing. A friend of mine told me when, why a certain feeling takes over her soul and gives her mind a push to another world. I somewhat saw myself in her shoes for it happens to me too, very often actually. Whenever everything seems perfect, happiness glows all around me, people smile… when someone tells a joke or another reason to laugh emerges, I smile, however the next second brings a tear. I slip away, remember people, old images and fall deeper and deeper. Why? I should seize the day and nothing more. Still, that’s something I cannot do. Tried it, but…different story, won’t go there… And……….that is not me! Yeah right, I’ve changed so much I have no idea who this person I see in the mirror actually is. I would travel on that middle path concealed from the rest of the world. Wednesday, 18 October 2006 20:20:37