Ashes

there are times I look at the shy and see nothing. just emptyness , lust, pain and fear. we are hollow inside and out , we feel our brain was washed , slipping through your fingers... most precious moments... the`re gone. u don`t remember anything. love has crussed your every emotion and every bone in your body but still u feel something, lonelyness... walking on this lonely road while smokeing a ciggy wondering why not even waking up could end a life that a person once had... I can not see her dye , her eyes looking at the sky , lying next to me on that sunny afternoon . I can taste death in her kiss, I can smell death in her breath and even see it through her eyes. but she`s not scared , she`s just a falling star that I refuse to let her fall anymore. but who am I to stand before death and life at the same time, even if , as an angel that falls down from heaven , in my fall for the abyss I take her down with me, and so on, her hand in mine feels like ashes , allthow she wants to tell me the trouth , the secret of death , I know it allready. she asked for a last kiss but as I reach to her and kiss her, I feel her lips cold and dead like all her beeing... I carry those moments in my heart even if she, from the grave , doesn`t remember them anymore...