Just wait…for me

That’s just it, I am lost …lost in me, deep inside, and I just don’t remember how I was anymore, I just don’t know how I should be or how should I behave … I guess I just got lost and that I am not found just yet… at least I know what’s wrong … I guess it hurts still that he betrayed me, he let me be, he left me there to take the pain, to pay my price and to repay my guilts …. It’s true… you always pay… I did… but still somehow I guess it’ s just not over yet. I still pay, everyday, every breath, every tear, every hope… Someday I will be free… just don’t know when. But I will… I know it… this life time or the next… Remember what happened cause I will never forget, I wish I could keep it locked and never let it out… but still it haunts my every drop of blood… will it never be enough? I keep on shouting and nobody is listening… not even the wind, and he used to me my friend…not even the night, and she used to be my home… not even you… I will get through… somehow… just wait… for me. 22.10.2005