I’m tired!

I was confused and upset I wanted to know what was wrong with me? I went to see my doctor “What can I do for you? your appointment is only for 20 minutes” he said hey! doctor I’m tired of hearing how short your minutes are I am tired of being tired I am tired of being nice to humanity every morning when hanging my coat I am tired of leaving my agony and tiredness in its pockets I’m tired of the ones who don’t deserve a sweet smile oh! If you knew how much I want to spit on their faces and kick them I’m tired of hearing your voice and waiting you haven’t been loyal to your appointment I’m tired of hearing you are more tired than I damn it! Doctor I am tired of hoping and not to be able to have my own space... I’m tired of cleaning everyone’s mess and listening to their complaints and lies from their excuses and being concerned keep your hands and lips to yourself your mouth only be moving the only thing I will be hearing is going to be blah, blah, blah! I am not going to listen I am tired of struggling I had a perfect life you have screwed up my life you were my life I did like it and felt safe nowadays my bed is empty one empty purple room no sign of desire the only thing I want is nothing... an empty clean bed and my 4 pillows where nobody belongs to nobody and where chatter stops I’m also tired of wanting my life back I want my life back! Gunsel Djemal 1999 - London