The white night story

It’s past midnight. I’m alone in my room, lying in bed. I’m trying to read a cheap novel, which I don’t know how it got into my hands. The light of the lamp is weak and makes me close my eyes for a moment. I feel sleep is taking over me and I am beginning to dream. Or maybe these are only memories coming back to me, when I’m alone? ... I had a long day of ups and downs. I had to call my parents, who are living in another country. There’s nothing new, with the exception of poverty which is taking a bigger place in peoples lives. They complain about the salaries they haven’t seen in years. I complain about nothing, as I don’t have the right to show weakness. I’m immuned and usually feel melancholy when talking to them. Maybe the distance is diminishing the reality that governs there? ... I’m living in a house, renting a room from a family I know. They’re both nice, the wife and the husband. They’ve got two children, both from previous marriages. From time to time I take care of the little girl, called J., a sweet 3 year old child. She has a joyful character which can not be controlled. She’s a rebellious child in every way. All kids should be that way, cheerful and without any overshadowing events. One day she came to me and saw a razor blade. - “Do you have a beard to use it, Ad.?” she asked innocently and curious. For a moment, I had no answer.J I like it less when they quarrel. The wife works as a stewardess and I don’t see her often at home. The father is taking her place. I hear him in the morning shouting at the little girl to hurry up, because he’s running late for work. In the evening I hear him singing lullabies to her. I know that she’s a bit spoiled, and he loves her a lot…I’ve never met a man to be so caring with kids… Today she came to me again, smiling and giving me a small coin she found in her pocket. - You can use it when you go shopping if you do not have enough money, she said gently and with a mature express in her eyes. I smiled and took the coin. - She was looking at me while I was doing my manicure. - I like you, Ad…said she suddenly. - You like me? Why? - Because I like you, said she simply. … And then started to talk about something else… - It could be wonderful to have the same mother, no? We could have the same hair-colour, no? Asked J. smiling? But we could not be twins, because I have already a brother… I could do nothing but smile, thinking about that. - And do you know what my father will buy me when I’m big, Ad? - No, J., tell me. - He’ll buy me a horse, a big one. - What to do with a horse? - To ride him, of course, she said convinced. - Will you keep him in the house? - No, outside, and laughs…- when I’m big I’ll buy a horse for you too. - For me? What do I do with the horse? - To ride together our horses, for example… …I’m totally captured by such a gift, but I just laugh at the idea…and I think that I like her too, because she’s so smart and genuine… p.s. the story is nothing but the product of my imagination, with the exception od some small details.