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I went to bed hoping I\'d fall asleep easily Sacrificing two hours of waiting for a fresh morning start seemed like a good deal but i couldn\'t sleep wondering where could you be. your parents go to sleep early so they can\'t be keeping you that long so maybe you went out with people i don\'t know some friends from work perhaps did they wait for you with a surprise today? did they all say HAPPY BIRTHDAY when you came in? or maybe they tried to be original acting like they forgot and waited until just before five or maybe you\'re at home watching a movie to substitute for me and you can\'t drop me a line because your dad spilled wine on the computer and if so, I wonder why you\'re not texting me. and I wonder this because you used to ask: why didn\'t you text me? and in moments like that i felt so guilty doubly guilty for not texting you and for not having thought of texting you. a simple \'musmtish\' would have been enough. you\'d have understood it it would have colored your world light blue. actually I\'m beginning to feel triply guilty because your phone\'s silence must have sounded like \'you\'ve been crowded out\'